It truly is a different feeling..

It’s only been 30 hours since I arrived in Fort Worth, but the feeling of missing my baby boy and wife is killing me. I’m missing every single moment of my boy growing up. This feeling puts me in a different perspective, letting me cherish the all the moments I’ve spent with him, and yet regretting every moment that I spend away from him. I miss my wife dearly, her voice and smile keeps on looping in my mind every time I try to sleep.

This morning, just amplified the feeling 10 times. I woke up early (can’t really sleep well because of jet lag) and called up a cab and headed to down town Fort Worth to rent a car. I arrived early, 8:15am to be exact and the car rental opened at 9am. After a really helpful conversation with Khamsy (the cab driver, from Thailand), giving me directions and showing places to go, I stepped out of the cab and into a cold and empty town. There was no one around. Business starts late and I can’t even get hot coffee to warm me up in that freezing temperature. Worst still, I didn’t eat any breakfast at the hotel. Walked around trying to find a warm place to wait but sadly, none.

Back to my baby boy, Nidal will be 4 months come 26th February 2008, and praise Allah SWT for the health that he has blessed him. Weighing a bit more that he should, he is growing fast and learning fast too. At his age, he can flip over, tell time, understand actions and communicate. He knows who to look at to ask for his needs. He will not stop staring at his mother and grandmother for milk, and the same to me and his grandfather is he’s bored and wants us to walk him around. If we are not reacting to his stare, he will start flapping his hands and voice out to attract attention. Usually by then his needs will be fulfilled.

I think Nidal is the type that will start talking early, and walk a bit late. He is more interested in communicating rather than learning how to crawl. He looks at people talking with curious eyes and react swiftly with a smile when we talk to him. He also make sounds as if he is talking to us, but right now, with the volume he’s talking, its hard to isolate any phrases that resembles anything meaningful. Its baby language I guess.

Tomorrow I will start my duty in AIG Global Services' Datacenter 2. I seriously hope that work will take my mind off this awful feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I love remembering my wife and kid, but missing them this far away, is unbearable. I hope to pick up knowledge on a new product (new to the team), and that will probably keep me occupied. Plus there are several central client applications that I need to get familiar with. It’s a welcomed load at a time like this.

Till then.. I will share more as time progresses..

Missing you Eita and Baby Nidal..